I feel like I should write a gratefulness post, but I have to admit I haven’t been feeling particularly grateful lately. So I’m thinking I might write a post about the things that usually make me grateful, and expound upon why they’re not making me grateful right now, and hope that pushes me back towards gratefulness again. Looking back at July’s post about it, I’m a little surprised at how naïve I was.
1. My house. Right now, it’s feeling like a dead weight just sitting on me. It’s always a mess, things are always breaking, it’s incredibly disorganized, and it’s cold. And dark. And I’m thinking about doing something different with my life, and having a house to deal with is kind of a pain.
2. My job. Yes, I have a job. Getting a paycheck is awesome. But I don’t have a career, somehow I still don’t make enough money to pay for my lifestyle (which I’m slowly paring back), and I haven’t quite figured out what the point is of getting a paycheck if every month I’m just paying off debt, and that’s all I’ll be doing for the next 20 years. Seriously, what’s the point?
3. My physical abilities. Yes, I can run 12.7 miles! Yay! Unfortunately, I was in such extreme pain for days afterwards, that it made me realize how much I’m aging and how much less I’m able to do than other athletic people my age (and even older). I have YEARS of bodily neglect to undo, and it’s a daunting task. And, quite frankly, I’m tired.
4. My bike. I still love my bike. But it’s cold and rainy, and I haven’t had time for bike maintenance. And someone was attacked on the bike trail near my gym, which makes me awfully nervous. And now the bike trail near my house is flooded, so I pretty much can’t get anywhere for a while.
5. I wish I could say that I'm grateful for my snowboard, and really, I am. But it's getting really old, and it's starting to get really banged up and I'm not sure what to do about it. On top of that, my boots have gotten packed out and are no longer fitting properly, which is a serious safety issue. If only I was independently wealthy!
I wish I didn’t feel so negative right now.