Thursday, January 29, 2015
And now I'm taking it down a notch
Another coworker just announced that he and his wife are expecting. Out of 14 of us, one is expecting in March, one is expecting in April, and now there's one in June. Awesome.
Wow what a difference (warning: might be TMI)
I'm fairly sure I've started my period. The reason I don't know is that my period has always been extremely heavy and accompanied by 2-3 days of excruciating cramps, cramps that are so bad I almost feel like throwing up. This is completely different. I barely have cramps, just a twinge here or there. Blood isn't gushing out of me, it's more of a very slow trickle. Barely. Before, if I went to the bathroom, between the time I removed one tampon, did my business, and inserted another, the water in the toilet would become dark red. I lived in constant fear of ruining my clothes. Most of my sheets and mattress covers have some bloodstains because 8 hours was way too long to go without changing my protection, even if I doubled up with a tampon (or menstrual cup) and a pad. I'm terrified of staying at a friend's house or hotel when I have my period, because I have ruined other people's bedding.
This is so different. If this is the way periods are without fibroids, I wish I had them removed years ago. I'm amazed at the difference. And I'm so encouraged for our chances now, despite my lower AMH and higher FSH. If I can manage to get a good egg and have it fertilize, it might have a shot now!
In other news. My husband ran into the partner of the nasty neighbor this morning while they were both out dog walking. The partner was extremely nice. So I don't really know what's going on there, except I guess the neighbor was just having a bad day the other day. It's too bad he felt he needed to take it out on me.
The whole experience did get me thinking, though, and my husband and I are talking much more seriously about moving. I'm very torn. Right now, we live about 10 minutes from downtown, where we both work. 15 minutes if there's traffic, and I can bike in 30 minutes, which is nice because I can avoid traffic and get exercise at the same time. I love my house, although with only 2 bedrooms it's not ideal for a growing family (which we are not, but we hope to be someday soon). We have the largest yard in the neighborhood, a fifth of an acre, but ideally we'd like half an acre or more. We have lots of beautiful trees, which is nice in spring and summer, but cold and a lot of work in winter and fall. The house needs some work, yes, but it's mostly stuff we can do ourselves. The neighborhood is arguably not great - a decent amount of crime, bad schools, not a lot of other kids.
I wouldn't mind a nicer, bigger house that needs less work. I wouldn't mind a bigger yard that needs less work. I hate the idea of a longer commute for sure. I especially hate the idea of moving farther from the mountains, which is one option we're considering, although it would allow us to be closer to my husband's family, who will probably be a lot of help if we ever have kids. But I love mountains and trees, and I much prefer the weather in the foothills to the weather in the valley, and the difference can be pretty extreme even though the areas we're looking at are only an hour or so apart. It's hard to know what to do...
This is so different. If this is the way periods are without fibroids, I wish I had them removed years ago. I'm amazed at the difference. And I'm so encouraged for our chances now, despite my lower AMH and higher FSH. If I can manage to get a good egg and have it fertilize, it might have a shot now!
In other news. My husband ran into the partner of the nasty neighbor this morning while they were both out dog walking. The partner was extremely nice. So I don't really know what's going on there, except I guess the neighbor was just having a bad day the other day. It's too bad he felt he needed to take it out on me.
The whole experience did get me thinking, though, and my husband and I are talking much more seriously about moving. I'm very torn. Right now, we live about 10 minutes from downtown, where we both work. 15 minutes if there's traffic, and I can bike in 30 minutes, which is nice because I can avoid traffic and get exercise at the same time. I love my house, although with only 2 bedrooms it's not ideal for a growing family (which we are not, but we hope to be someday soon). We have the largest yard in the neighborhood, a fifth of an acre, but ideally we'd like half an acre or more. We have lots of beautiful trees, which is nice in spring and summer, but cold and a lot of work in winter and fall. The house needs some work, yes, but it's mostly stuff we can do ourselves. The neighborhood is arguably not great - a decent amount of crime, bad schools, not a lot of other kids.
I wouldn't mind a nicer, bigger house that needs less work. I wouldn't mind a bigger yard that needs less work. I hate the idea of a longer commute for sure. I especially hate the idea of moving farther from the mountains, which is one option we're considering, although it would allow us to be closer to my husband's family, who will probably be a lot of help if we ever have kids. But I love mountains and trees, and I much prefer the weather in the foothills to the weather in the valley, and the difference can be pretty extreme even though the areas we're looking at are only an hour or so apart. It's hard to know what to do...
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
My husband is back!
I'm SO happy! His plane landed at 11 last night, and I don't think we got to bed until midnight, but it's wonderful to have him back. If you had seen how he packed for the return trip, you might have fainted. He brought back quite a few breakables, including framed pictures and medals and mementos from his grandfather's time in the royal navy in WWII, wine glasses from Charles and Diana's wedding, and a few framed pictures and memorabilia, including a framed explanation of his clan's name and history (technically, he's of Scottish descent). He packed all his clothes in one bag, and everything else in a soft-sided suitcase. He wrapped the wine glasses in one layer of newspaper and then stuck them in the suitcase with the framed pictures. I don't know how this happened, but the wine glasses made it, and only one piece of glass in a frame broke.
Unfortunately, our morning wasn't so great (and I'm starting to feel like this is turning into a complainy-blog) as our dog had ANOTHER seizure, and then our neighbor came over an yelled at us personally (at 6:30 am!) about how we don't cross the street soon enough when we see him walking his dog. I'm completely blown away by his attitude (and rudeness). He has a very large and aggressive german shepherd who, as far as I can tell, has never been socialized with other dogs. Our dogs are extremely friendly and want to play with every dog they see. We live in a court, and often as our neighbor is leaving to walk his dog, we're returning with ours. It's generally dark out and his driveway isn't exactly lit, so a lot of times I don't see him until I'm pretty close. As soon as I see him, I usually cut across the court, but apparently my husband continues walking on the sidewalk past his house. His dog usually growls and lunges at our dogs no matter how far away we are. He informed us that we are being incredibly inconsiderate, and when I explained that I always cut across the court as soon as I see him, he told me I'm not paying close enough attention and I should be noticing him sooner. And then he said he wasn't going to be considerate of us anymore and left.
I was a little shocked. Our dogs are super friendly. When we walk them, we never have any problems with other dogs that we pass, and people who have more aggressive dogs usually cross the street when they see us or other dogs out. People with friendly dogs don't, and our dogs say hi and then keep going. I've always thought the onus was on the owner of the aggressive dog to avoid other dogs - after all, I don't know which dogs are aggressive and which aren't if I haven't met them before. On top of that, I've never heard anything about this before. If he had come over and asked if we could work with him and been pleasant about it, I would have agreed in a heartbeat.
My husband is livid. He is once again talking about moving, and as much as I love our house, I'm ready to move too.
Oh, and it might just be spotting, but I think my period is starting. This would be day 25 of the current cycle, I think, so a little early, but I had surgery and then was horribly sick for two weeks (I still am, but now it's manageable) and I took estrogen pills instead of having the much-stronger estrogen patches, so who knows what my cycle is doing. I'll be happy to start testing for ovulation soon, though.
Unfortunately, our morning wasn't so great (and I'm starting to feel like this is turning into a complainy-blog) as our dog had ANOTHER seizure, and then our neighbor came over an yelled at us personally (at 6:30 am!) about how we don't cross the street soon enough when we see him walking his dog. I'm completely blown away by his attitude (and rudeness). He has a very large and aggressive german shepherd who, as far as I can tell, has never been socialized with other dogs. Our dogs are extremely friendly and want to play with every dog they see. We live in a court, and often as our neighbor is leaving to walk his dog, we're returning with ours. It's generally dark out and his driveway isn't exactly lit, so a lot of times I don't see him until I'm pretty close. As soon as I see him, I usually cut across the court, but apparently my husband continues walking on the sidewalk past his house. His dog usually growls and lunges at our dogs no matter how far away we are. He informed us that we are being incredibly inconsiderate, and when I explained that I always cut across the court as soon as I see him, he told me I'm not paying close enough attention and I should be noticing him sooner. And then he said he wasn't going to be considerate of us anymore and left.
I was a little shocked. Our dogs are super friendly. When we walk them, we never have any problems with other dogs that we pass, and people who have more aggressive dogs usually cross the street when they see us or other dogs out. People with friendly dogs don't, and our dogs say hi and then keep going. I've always thought the onus was on the owner of the aggressive dog to avoid other dogs - after all, I don't know which dogs are aggressive and which aren't if I haven't met them before. On top of that, I've never heard anything about this before. If he had come over and asked if we could work with him and been pleasant about it, I would have agreed in a heartbeat.
My husband is livid. He is once again talking about moving, and as much as I love our house, I'm ready to move too.
Oh, and it might just be spotting, but I think my period is starting. This would be day 25 of the current cycle, I think, so a little early, but I had surgery and then was horribly sick for two weeks (I still am, but now it's manageable) and I took estrogen pills instead of having the much-stronger estrogen patches, so who knows what my cycle is doing. I'll be happy to start testing for ovulation soon, though.
Friday, January 23, 2015
Still sick and post-op
I am still suffering from a cold/flu. I felt quite a bit better over the weekend, and I am now feeling awful again, and I'm not even sure if it's a relapse of the previous illness or a brand new one, but I need to start feeling better soon. My husband is still in England dealing with his grandmother's illness, and being on my own is quite hard for several reasons. One is that I am taking care of the animals by myself. Walking the dogs twice a day in very cold weather is definitely not helping, and the dogs are not letting me rest at all when I am at home. They are constantly getting into trouble. I also am not able to park at work, and so if I'm sick my husband usually drops me off. Since he's not here, I've had to bike, and biking in cold weather is also not helping.
This morning I decided to just stay in bed and not come to work until it warmed up a bit. I also didn't walk the dogs, I just let them run around in the yard on their own (not their favorite, but it had to be done). It was definitely the right thing to do. By the time I left the house, I was feeling much better. Of course, by the time I got to work, I was feeling pretty crappy again, but at least it's Friday, and I have Monday off, so I have three days of rest ahead of me.
I had my post-op with the surgeon on Tuesday afternoon, after my eye check-up Tuesday morning. My eye exam went well until the end, when the doctor noticed something strange about my retina. She called another doctor in to look at it, and they scheduled me for a re-check in three months. I hope my insurance covers it. I am also very nervous about it, since I am by nature a very anxious person, and no one really explained to me what was going on. Hopefully I will get more information in April.
My post-op with the surgeon went as well as can be expected. He told me that my uterine cavity was looking pretty good, although a bit narrow in one spot. He suggested waiting for at least one cycle and then going back for another HSG just to make sure my recent surgeries didn't cause any issues with my tubes. He also said he thought the fibroids were the reason I wasn't getting pregnant, that my uterine lining looks great otherwise, and that we should go head and start trying on our own as soon as we're ready. He didn't seem too concerned about my AMH and FSH, that they're not great but not horrible, and there's no reason why we couldn't get pregnant if we keep trying for a while. He also said that if we end up moving to IVF, he would want to do a non-surgical hysteroscopy in the office to make sure everything looks ok (that sounds HORRIBLE to me - someone looking in my uterus while I'm awake!)
I guess this is good? Obviously, we'll start trying again once D gets back from England, and I will start using OPKs after the beginning of my next cycle, and schedule an HSG for the cycle after that. The thing I'm worried about the most is my eggs. I had a blood test in June that showed my AMH at 1.37, a perfectly respectable number. My most recent test, which was in October was at 0.85, which is apparently not great since it is below 1. Unfortunately, I can't access it to see if they used the same units, but the Does this mean my fertility is going to be gone really soon? Was one of the tests a fluke? I just don't know, and it worries me. The tests were done at different labs in different health systems, so they could be using different methods and have different standards. I just don't know.
This morning I decided to just stay in bed and not come to work until it warmed up a bit. I also didn't walk the dogs, I just let them run around in the yard on their own (not their favorite, but it had to be done). It was definitely the right thing to do. By the time I left the house, I was feeling much better. Of course, by the time I got to work, I was feeling pretty crappy again, but at least it's Friday, and I have Monday off, so I have three days of rest ahead of me.
I had my post-op with the surgeon on Tuesday afternoon, after my eye check-up Tuesday morning. My eye exam went well until the end, when the doctor noticed something strange about my retina. She called another doctor in to look at it, and they scheduled me for a re-check in three months. I hope my insurance covers it. I am also very nervous about it, since I am by nature a very anxious person, and no one really explained to me what was going on. Hopefully I will get more information in April.
My post-op with the surgeon went as well as can be expected. He told me that my uterine cavity was looking pretty good, although a bit narrow in one spot. He suggested waiting for at least one cycle and then going back for another HSG just to make sure my recent surgeries didn't cause any issues with my tubes. He also said he thought the fibroids were the reason I wasn't getting pregnant, that my uterine lining looks great otherwise, and that we should go head and start trying on our own as soon as we're ready. He didn't seem too concerned about my AMH and FSH, that they're not great but not horrible, and there's no reason why we couldn't get pregnant if we keep trying for a while. He also said that if we end up moving to IVF, he would want to do a non-surgical hysteroscopy in the office to make sure everything looks ok (that sounds HORRIBLE to me - someone looking in my uterus while I'm awake!)
I guess this is good? Obviously, we'll start trying again once D gets back from England, and I will start using OPKs after the beginning of my next cycle, and schedule an HSG for the cycle after that. The thing I'm worried about the most is my eggs. I had a blood test in June that showed my AMH at 1.37, a perfectly respectable number. My most recent test, which was in October was at 0.85, which is apparently not great since it is below 1. Unfortunately, I can't access it to see if they used the same units, but the Does this mean my fertility is going to be gone really soon? Was one of the tests a fluke? I just don't know, and it worries me. The tests were done at different labs in different health systems, so they could be using different methods and have different standards. I just don't know.
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Well that sucked
I'm back! Miss Positivity! But not for long because my world is sort of falling apart and I need to go back to bed.
My surgery went well. Four more fibroids removed, recovery was quite a bit easier than the previous surgery, and I shouldn't need to have any more surgeries for that. My husband didn't have a lot of time off of work, so my sister came with me instead. This turned out to be a good thing.
My surgery was on Tuesday, and on Saturday I was convalescing at home and I noticed that my husband's biological father, who had just returned from a two-month stay in his native England, was on the internet asking for a ride to the airport for Monday. Apparently, his mother (my husband's beloved grandmother) had taken a sudden turn for the worse and things were not looking well. I told my husband, and on Sunday we bought him a plane ticket to leave on Wednesday (yesterday) for 12 days.
Now, Sunday morning I had an appointment to get my uterine balloon removed, and that went well, but by Sunday evening, I felt like I was dying. As it turns out, I had caught the flu. I spent Sunday night, Monday, and Tuesday with a fever and chills and basically being miserable and not getting out of bed. And then my husband left Wednesday morning and I've been alone ever since.
My temperature starting going back up again last night, and I started freaking out and called the advice nurse, who recommended staying home from work for another day or two, but I've already missed so much work with the surgery and all, so I decided to at least try to come in for a few hours today.
I woke up at 4 this morning, which is actually later than I woke up yesterday morning (3 am) or the morning before (2 am). So that was cool, since I was planning to get up at 5 anyway. My fever had definitely broken during the night, and I woke up completely soaked in sweat, but I just decided to stay in bed until I had to get up. But then at 4:40, Lola had her third seizure. I panicked and just about started crying. I'm still exhausted, I still have the flu, Lola had peed on the floor twice last night, I'm trying to take care of everything by myself, and then this happened.
All in all, this has been a pretty crappy week. And I miss my husband so very, very much.
My surgery went well. Four more fibroids removed, recovery was quite a bit easier than the previous surgery, and I shouldn't need to have any more surgeries for that. My husband didn't have a lot of time off of work, so my sister came with me instead. This turned out to be a good thing.
My surgery was on Tuesday, and on Saturday I was convalescing at home and I noticed that my husband's biological father, who had just returned from a two-month stay in his native England, was on the internet asking for a ride to the airport for Monday. Apparently, his mother (my husband's beloved grandmother) had taken a sudden turn for the worse and things were not looking well. I told my husband, and on Sunday we bought him a plane ticket to leave on Wednesday (yesterday) for 12 days.
Now, Sunday morning I had an appointment to get my uterine balloon removed, and that went well, but by Sunday evening, I felt like I was dying. As it turns out, I had caught the flu. I spent Sunday night, Monday, and Tuesday with a fever and chills and basically being miserable and not getting out of bed. And then my husband left Wednesday morning and I've been alone ever since.
My temperature starting going back up again last night, and I started freaking out and called the advice nurse, who recommended staying home from work for another day or two, but I've already missed so much work with the surgery and all, so I decided to at least try to come in for a few hours today.
I woke up at 4 this morning, which is actually later than I woke up yesterday morning (3 am) or the morning before (2 am). So that was cool, since I was planning to get up at 5 anyway. My fever had definitely broken during the night, and I woke up completely soaked in sweat, but I just decided to stay in bed until I had to get up. But then at 4:40, Lola had her third seizure. I panicked and just about started crying. I'm still exhausted, I still have the flu, Lola had peed on the floor twice last night, I'm trying to take care of everything by myself, and then this happened.
All in all, this has been a pretty crappy week. And I miss my husband so very, very much.
Monday, January 5, 2015
Monday/Friday
Today is my Monday and also my Friday, since I will be having surgery tomorrow. This morning, I mentioned something about surgery, and my husband asked "when is that again?" Seriously???? He doesn't know that my surgery is TOMORROW! Luckily, I asked my sister to come with me this time because I didn't want my husband using up more vacation days, so I'm all set.
In other news. Our younger dog, Apollo, started throwing up on Thursday evening. It continued until Saturday morning, and he was much better by Saturday evening, which was when Lola had another seizure. Followed by vomiting. I also had horrible cramps for two days straight. So in terms of health, it wasn't the best weekend ever.
But! Some good things did happen. My husband and I went snowboarding for the first time this season, and it was great. I spent the weekend in a lovely cabin in the mountains with lots of friends and no one announced a pregnancy. We took the dogs to the snow Saturday morning and they had a blast. Watching them run around in the snow was great.
In other news. Our younger dog, Apollo, started throwing up on Thursday evening. It continued until Saturday morning, and he was much better by Saturday evening, which was when Lola had another seizure. Followed by vomiting. I also had horrible cramps for two days straight. So in terms of health, it wasn't the best weekend ever.
But! Some good things did happen. My husband and I went snowboarding for the first time this season, and it was great. I spent the weekend in a lovely cabin in the mountains with lots of friends and no one announced a pregnancy. We took the dogs to the snow Saturday morning and they had a blast. Watching them run around in the snow was great.
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