Still no period. My back is killing me, which often happens during my period, but there is no blood. I'm at a loss as to what to do. I think I will wait until Friday or Saturday and if I haven't started by then, I'll do another pregnancy test. I guess.
And now I have to rant a bit.
So a friend of mine, who is about to turn 37, is about 8 months pregnant with her second baby. I'm good friends with both her and her husband from college, and until recently I really liked them both a lot. I went to the baby shower for her first baby, and even brought them a meal after the baby was born, even though I was single and poor and paying off huge student loans (I live about 90 minutes away, so I drove there and bought them a bunch of food, which was not cheap). I have put up with getting extensive emails every three months detailing every little thing about their lives and their child and what he eats and says and likes and plays with. Etc, etc.
I didn't go to the baby shower for the second baby, which was the weekend before thanksgiving, because I am morally opposed to showers for second babies (and if anyone says it's ok if the baby is a different sex, I will have to whip out my Feminist card. Babies are babies. Boy or girl, they both need basically the same things). Well, yesterday, I received an invitation to sign up on a calendar to bring them meals. It was sent by my friend herself, not by someone else on her behalf. I nearly lost it. Of course, they don't know that we've been trying to get pregnant for over a year (since before they got pregnant), but still. I can't even imagine sending out a mass request for people to bring me food! It's not like they're having a hard time. They're actually doing quite well for themselves.
This is not to say that I wouldn't want to help out a friend. My best friend gave birth this summer, 6 days before my wedding. She was a bridesmaid, and I did everything I could to make it easy for her to be there, because having her there was more important to me than having everything be perfect. Her birthday was the weekend after I got back from my honeymoon, so I made her dinner and brought it to her (over an hour away). I did it because I wanted to, and not because she created a calendar where she expected everyone to sign up to bring her things.
Now that I'm looking at the possibility of rather expensive infertility treatments, I have to admit, I'm a little disgusted. I also won't be participating, and I will probably just ignore the request.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Day 40
I took a pregnancy test on Thursday morning. Negative. Not even a hint of a line. Which is fine, because I wasn't necessarily expecting to get pregnant immediately after surgery. But where is my period???? There have been no signs of it whatsoever. After doing a bit of reading, it seems reasonable to assume that it will take 5-6 weeks after surgery before it starts. I'm now one day short of 5 weeks past surgery. So maybe my period will start soon?
My Thanksgiving was pretty good. We got up early on Thanksgiving morning and drove 25 minutes east to pick up my mom, who wasn't ready (I didn't expect her to be, especially since there was no traffic at all so we got there early). I helped her finish packing, D changed the battery in her smoke detector because the beeping was driving me nuts even though she apparently couldn't hear it, and we piled into the car to drive 45 minutes west to my sister's, where my sister and I spent the day cooking and cleaning for 11 or so people, half of whom are from Italy. Since my brother-in-law is from Italy, we often end up with all of the stray Italians in the area at our holiday celebrations. My mother HATES sharing holidays with non-family members, especially those who are not American. Perhaps I haven't mentioned it yet, but she was insisting on my husband and I spending Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day with her. I told her we'd spend all day Thanksgiving and Christmas with her, but D and I had to work on Christmas Eve, and we'd be having dinner with his family. So she suggested he go to his family and I go to her house. Ummmm, yeah. I shut that idea down right away.
In case you couldn't tell, my mother is DIFFICULT. For Thanksgiving, my sister spent quite a bit of money on an organic heritage turkey, which my mom basically said was a waste since it wasn't that good. She also said that "if it wasn't for the drug cartels, we should just take over Mexico since they have better beaches than we do". And when one of the Italians asked her if she was from the town where my sister lives (which is a VERY NICE town, and most people in the area can't afford to live there, although it's not as glamorous and exclusive as the town where my mom used to live), she was offended. Now, she lives in a similar town, but last year she moved from what was probably the most expensive town in the area, full of huge houses and gated communities and local celebrities, and she's still upset about the move. So instead of telling the girl where she actually lives, she said, "well, I used to live in GB, but before that, I lived in S" which happens to be a small town in Silicon Valley that is also very expensive, but not exactly the most expensive place in Silicon Valley, and isn't exactly well-known. No one who is from outside the area has ever heard of these places. I can guarantee that someone who is from a different COUNTRY will never have any reason to know the names of these towns, much less be impressed by how rich and important my mother must be to have lived in them. She couldn't even admit that she lives in the nice town she does, for fear that someone might think she consorts with commoners. My poor sister had to put up with her overnight, since she's gotten to the point where she can't drive anymore. I felt so bad, but I just can't deal with her for long periods of time. Like half a day.
My husband and I spent the rest of the weekend doing maintenance on our house. Owning a house is a pain. Owning a 35-year-old house with a flat roof is even more of a pain. We now have a leak in the bathroom ceiling. We're probably going to have to hire someone to fix it, as soon as it stops raining. I'm hoping it doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
Oh yeah! I found my wallet!
My Thanksgiving was pretty good. We got up early on Thanksgiving morning and drove 25 minutes east to pick up my mom, who wasn't ready (I didn't expect her to be, especially since there was no traffic at all so we got there early). I helped her finish packing, D changed the battery in her smoke detector because the beeping was driving me nuts even though she apparently couldn't hear it, and we piled into the car to drive 45 minutes west to my sister's, where my sister and I spent the day cooking and cleaning for 11 or so people, half of whom are from Italy. Since my brother-in-law is from Italy, we often end up with all of the stray Italians in the area at our holiday celebrations. My mother HATES sharing holidays with non-family members, especially those who are not American. Perhaps I haven't mentioned it yet, but she was insisting on my husband and I spending Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day with her. I told her we'd spend all day Thanksgiving and Christmas with her, but D and I had to work on Christmas Eve, and we'd be having dinner with his family. So she suggested he go to his family and I go to her house. Ummmm, yeah. I shut that idea down right away.
In case you couldn't tell, my mother is DIFFICULT. For Thanksgiving, my sister spent quite a bit of money on an organic heritage turkey, which my mom basically said was a waste since it wasn't that good. She also said that "if it wasn't for the drug cartels, we should just take over Mexico since they have better beaches than we do". And when one of the Italians asked her if she was from the town where my sister lives (which is a VERY NICE town, and most people in the area can't afford to live there, although it's not as glamorous and exclusive as the town where my mom used to live), she was offended. Now, she lives in a similar town, but last year she moved from what was probably the most expensive town in the area, full of huge houses and gated communities and local celebrities, and she's still upset about the move. So instead of telling the girl where she actually lives, she said, "well, I used to live in GB, but before that, I lived in S" which happens to be a small town in Silicon Valley that is also very expensive, but not exactly the most expensive place in Silicon Valley, and isn't exactly well-known. No one who is from outside the area has ever heard of these places. I can guarantee that someone who is from a different COUNTRY will never have any reason to know the names of these towns, much less be impressed by how rich and important my mother must be to have lived in them. She couldn't even admit that she lives in the nice town she does, for fear that someone might think she consorts with commoners. My poor sister had to put up with her overnight, since she's gotten to the point where she can't drive anymore. I felt so bad, but I just can't deal with her for long periods of time. Like half a day.
My husband and I spent the rest of the weekend doing maintenance on our house. Owning a house is a pain. Owning a 35-year-old house with a flat roof is even more of a pain. We now have a leak in the bathroom ceiling. We're probably going to have to hire someone to fix it, as soon as it stops raining. I'm hoping it doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
Oh yeah! I found my wallet!
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Day 33
I told myself I would wait until Friday to take a pregnancy test. I had estrogen patches for 7 days (8?), so I figured I would wait 7 days after the typical end of my cycle. Since my cycle has apparently not ended yet.
However. I didn't really take the holidays into account. As we all know, Thursday is Thanksgiving. If I am pregnant, I want to avoid alcohol (obviously). If I am not pregnant, I would like to take full advantage of the holiday and my sister's excellent wine selection. So I am not sure what to do. At the moment, I'm pretty sure I only have one pregnancy test left. It may or may not be expired. Do I throw caution to the wind and use it? I realize most people would say throwing caution to the wind would be to NOT use it, and the cautious thing to do would be to use it before Thursday. But I don't want to test too early and be disappointed. I don't want to jinx it (I know, it sounds crazy).
What do I do???
However. I didn't really take the holidays into account. As we all know, Thursday is Thanksgiving. If I am pregnant, I want to avoid alcohol (obviously). If I am not pregnant, I would like to take full advantage of the holiday and my sister's excellent wine selection. So I am not sure what to do. At the moment, I'm pretty sure I only have one pregnancy test left. It may or may not be expired. Do I throw caution to the wind and use it? I realize most people would say throwing caution to the wind would be to NOT use it, and the cautious thing to do would be to use it before Thursday. But I don't want to test too early and be disappointed. I don't want to jinx it (I know, it sounds crazy).
What do I do???
Monday, November 24, 2014
Day 32
So when I first stopped using birth control, pretty much exactly one year ago, my first two cycles were 32 days. The next one dropped to something like 26 days, and I can't remember what cycle 4 was like, but it eventually settled on 28 days, and everything was peachy, other than the fact that I never got pregnant, which was the whole point of stopping birth control. Also, cramps and heavy bleeding weren't so peachy.
Today is day 32 of this cycle. Obviously, this cycle isn't going to be normal. I had surgery on day 5. I had estrogen patches on my stomach from day 5 through day day 14. (Speaking of which, I haven't had an allergic reaction on my stomach in several days now. I think the adhesive is completely gone. Yay!). I had a stent in my uterus for 8 days. I have no idea what my next period is even going to be like, considering I had 10 fibroids removed from inside my uterus.
I just have no idea what I should do if my period continues to not happen. At what point do I start testing for possible pregnancy? I mean, I'm assuming it didn't happen this time, considering I spent over 1.5 weeks not having intimate relations with my husband, smack dab in the middle of this cycle (although who the heck knows when the middle of the cycle actually was??? I have no idea!).
In an attempt to cheat fate and force a pregnancy to happen, I finally went out and spent $40 on a new menstrual cup. I was waiting because if I got pregnant, I wouldn't need it for a good nine months. Of course, I didn't get pregnant, so I figured I might as well buy it. Chances are, now that I've spent the money, I'll get pregnant, and if I don't, I'll have a new one to use. Win-win, right?
Updated: I'll add that I usually have some spotting during the week before my period starts. Considering I had spotting for a week after my surgery, I'm not sure if there's anything left to spot. I have had nothing so far. I don't know what this means.
Update the second: I also spent $33 on the clear blue digital OPK. And I technically spent $32 plus tax on the cup. So that's $68 that would be wasted if I got pregnant. Is it weird that I think the more money I waste, the more likely it is I'll get pregnant?
Today is day 32 of this cycle. Obviously, this cycle isn't going to be normal. I had surgery on day 5. I had estrogen patches on my stomach from day 5 through day day 14. (Speaking of which, I haven't had an allergic reaction on my stomach in several days now. I think the adhesive is completely gone. Yay!). I had a stent in my uterus for 8 days. I have no idea what my next period is even going to be like, considering I had 10 fibroids removed from inside my uterus.
I just have no idea what I should do if my period continues to not happen. At what point do I start testing for possible pregnancy? I mean, I'm assuming it didn't happen this time, considering I spent over 1.5 weeks not having intimate relations with my husband, smack dab in the middle of this cycle (although who the heck knows when the middle of the cycle actually was??? I have no idea!).
In an attempt to cheat fate and force a pregnancy to happen, I finally went out and spent $40 on a new menstrual cup. I was waiting because if I got pregnant, I wouldn't need it for a good nine months. Of course, I didn't get pregnant, so I figured I might as well buy it. Chances are, now that I've spent the money, I'll get pregnant, and if I don't, I'll have a new one to use. Win-win, right?
Updated: I'll add that I usually have some spotting during the week before my period starts. Considering I had spotting for a week after my surgery, I'm not sure if there's anything left to spot. I have had nothing so far. I don't know what this means.
Update the second: I also spent $33 on the clear blue digital OPK. And I technically spent $32 plus tax on the cup. So that's $68 that would be wasted if I got pregnant. Is it weird that I think the more money I waste, the more likely it is I'll get pregnant?
Friday, November 21, 2014
28 days
Today would have been the day my period arrived. It shows no signs of showing up. I don't really expect it to, considering my recent surgery and subsequent estrogen application, but I do wish I had some clue of when it will arrive. I'm very eager to start testing for ovulation!
In other news, I went on a quick shopping spree yesterday. After seeing myself in the mirror, I was absolutely appalled. I have to lose weight! But I never seem to have time to exercise. I get up super early in the morning to get everything ready for the day. I'm at work for 10 hours a day (including lunch, which I often work through). I don't get home until after 5, sometimes closer to 6, and I generally immediately start dinner. After dinner, I spend quite a bit of time cleaning, if I have the energy. By the time that's all done, it's usually around 8 and I'm exhausted. I really want to exercise more, but life is sapping my energy.
Yesterday at work, we had our weekly team meeting. There are about 15 people on my team, give or take. We're already counting down to one expected birth in March (we like countdowns - we're also counting down to Game of Thrones Season 5, one coworker's wedding, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, and Christmas). Another coworker announced that his wife is pregnant with their second child, due in April. He already has a 15-month-old at home, whom we already had a baby shower for. Luckily, no one made any comments to me about why I haven't gotten pregnant yet. I guess the few coworkers that I told spread the word about it, which I'm grateful for. I don't mind the regular pregnancy announcements nearly as much as I minded people nagging me about it. It's not like I'm infertile on purpose!
Speaking of infertility. I'm 36 now, so technically I'm infertile after 6 months of trying, right? But when we started, it wasn't too far past my 35th birthday, and we're about to hit the 1-year milestone next week, so I guess I'm definitely infertile now. Yay for labels!
In other news, I went on a quick shopping spree yesterday. After seeing myself in the mirror, I was absolutely appalled. I have to lose weight! But I never seem to have time to exercise. I get up super early in the morning to get everything ready for the day. I'm at work for 10 hours a day (including lunch, which I often work through). I don't get home until after 5, sometimes closer to 6, and I generally immediately start dinner. After dinner, I spend quite a bit of time cleaning, if I have the energy. By the time that's all done, it's usually around 8 and I'm exhausted. I really want to exercise more, but life is sapping my energy.
Yesterday at work, we had our weekly team meeting. There are about 15 people on my team, give or take. We're already counting down to one expected birth in March (we like countdowns - we're also counting down to Game of Thrones Season 5, one coworker's wedding, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, and Christmas). Another coworker announced that his wife is pregnant with their second child, due in April. He already has a 15-month-old at home, whom we already had a baby shower for. Luckily, no one made any comments to me about why I haven't gotten pregnant yet. I guess the few coworkers that I told spread the word about it, which I'm grateful for. I don't mind the regular pregnancy announcements nearly as much as I minded people nagging me about it. It's not like I'm infertile on purpose!
Speaking of infertility. I'm 36 now, so technically I'm infertile after 6 months of trying, right? But when we started, it wasn't too far past my 35th birthday, and we're about to hit the 1-year milestone next week, so I guess I'm definitely infertile now. Yay for labels!
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Nothing happening
I haven't really been writing because nothing has really been happening. I'm waiting for my period to start, which in normal circumstances would happen at the end of this week, but because of the post-surgery estrogen patches it may be a little late. On the one hand, I want it to be on time so my schedule will continue uninterrupted and I can immediately start testing for ovulation (well, by immediately, I mean 12 days after it starts). I'm also a little impatient to see what it will be like now that I am 10 fibroids lighter. However, I decided to have a bunch of people over for a dinner party and Mario Kart 64 competition this Saturday, so if my period is still heavy and painful, I would prefer for it to wait until after the party.
So that's where I'm at right now. I'm assuming I ovulated sometime in the last week or so, so it's also possible I may be pregnant. Hahahahahahaha.
Oh yeah! I had an allergic reaction to the patches this weekend! The patches that came off 10 days previously. I suspect that I didn't get all of the adhesive off (I can still see some of it in a few spots) and for some reason my skin decided to react. I have very sensitive skin, but I honestly wasn't expecting a reaction this long after removal. So that was cool. Not.
So that's where I'm at right now. I'm assuming I ovulated sometime in the last week or so, so it's also possible I may be pregnant. Hahahahahahaha.
Oh yeah! I had an allergic reaction to the patches this weekend! The patches that came off 10 days previously. I suspect that I didn't get all of the adhesive off (I can still see some of it in a few spots) and for some reason my skin decided to react. I have very sensitive skin, but I honestly wasn't expecting a reaction this long after removal. So that was cool. Not.
Monday, November 10, 2014
Mondays
I actually had a pretty good weekend, aside from our dogs going a bit wild in our man-cave/spare room/media room/possible future baby room. I mostly stopped bleeding. It's so light right now I can barely even tell, which is awesome because... well, I'm tired of bleeding.
I've started exercising again. It's frustrating because I used to be able to do a lot of the stuff I can't do know, but at the same time, it feels good to be working on getting back to that again. I went outdoor rock-climbing with my husband, my sister, and my sister's family this weekend. It was a beautiful day, the trees were all (FINALLY) changing color, and it was so nice to be outside. The adults climbed while the kids played (and went through my backpack and purse and my husband's wallet, which was actually quite amusing). I could just barely keep up with everyone else, since I've taken a two-week break, and my arms are killing me today. But it was soooo good to get outside!
I did a bunch of work around the house, including fixing a broken sprinkler line. For some reason, the line that I broke is connected directly to the main water source for our house instead of through a separate connection like the rest of our sprinkler lines, so I had to turn off the main water valve in order to fix it, and it had to stay off for a few hours while I bailed water out of the area, dug out the entire line where it was broken, cleaned everything off, and then repaired it. My neighbor's house is empty, so I occasionally walked over there to wash my hands as necessary, and luckily Kaiser called while my hands were actually clean. My next surgery (that I really, really don't want to have) will most likely happen in January. I'm hoping there will be nothing left that needs to be removed, so that recovery will be short and we can move straight on to trying drugs.
My husband brought up IVF on his own, and is actually considering it now. He has a coworker who used it to get pregnant. His coworker is 50 (or thereabouts) and his wife is somewhere between 40 and 50, and it took them several tries to get pregnant. (His coworker was our wedding photographer, and they were due sometime after the wedding, so the baby has been born, and we haven't actually seen our wedding photographs yet because he's been quite busy). They referred to the pregnancy as their $40,000 baby. Obviously, that scared my husband quite a bit. I hadn't realized that was at the root of his reluctance to use IVF. Obviously, we're going to try on our own until after my next surgery, but by then hopefully we'll have a better idea of what we want to do. I really don't want to have to use IVF, but I also don't want to spend a year trying while my fertility dwindles away and then have him decide that he wants to do it after all.
And in other news, I still haven't found my wallet. No charges have been made on any of my cards, so I'm pretty sure it's either in the house or in the garbage. I'm requesting replacement cards today, but I want to wait a wee bit for my driver's license, since that will unfortunately cost money to replace. Why do I have to be so scatter-brained?
I've started exercising again. It's frustrating because I used to be able to do a lot of the stuff I can't do know, but at the same time, it feels good to be working on getting back to that again. I went outdoor rock-climbing with my husband, my sister, and my sister's family this weekend. It was a beautiful day, the trees were all (FINALLY) changing color, and it was so nice to be outside. The adults climbed while the kids played (and went through my backpack and purse and my husband's wallet, which was actually quite amusing). I could just barely keep up with everyone else, since I've taken a two-week break, and my arms are killing me today. But it was soooo good to get outside!
I did a bunch of work around the house, including fixing a broken sprinkler line. For some reason, the line that I broke is connected directly to the main water source for our house instead of through a separate connection like the rest of our sprinkler lines, so I had to turn off the main water valve in order to fix it, and it had to stay off for a few hours while I bailed water out of the area, dug out the entire line where it was broken, cleaned everything off, and then repaired it. My neighbor's house is empty, so I occasionally walked over there to wash my hands as necessary, and luckily Kaiser called while my hands were actually clean. My next surgery (that I really, really don't want to have) will most likely happen in January. I'm hoping there will be nothing left that needs to be removed, so that recovery will be short and we can move straight on to trying drugs.
My husband brought up IVF on his own, and is actually considering it now. He has a coworker who used it to get pregnant. His coworker is 50 (or thereabouts) and his wife is somewhere between 40 and 50, and it took them several tries to get pregnant. (His coworker was our wedding photographer, and they were due sometime after the wedding, so the baby has been born, and we haven't actually seen our wedding photographs yet because he's been quite busy). They referred to the pregnancy as their $40,000 baby. Obviously, that scared my husband quite a bit. I hadn't realized that was at the root of his reluctance to use IVF. Obviously, we're going to try on our own until after my next surgery, but by then hopefully we'll have a better idea of what we want to do. I really don't want to have to use IVF, but I also don't want to spend a year trying while my fertility dwindles away and then have him decide that he wants to do it after all.
And in other news, I still haven't found my wallet. No charges have been made on any of my cards, so I'm pretty sure it's either in the house or in the garbage. I'm requesting replacement cards today, but I want to wait a wee bit for my driver's license, since that will unfortunately cost money to replace. Why do I have to be so scatter-brained?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)