Our roof can probably be fixed for under $400. Yay! The bad news: We're probably going to have to replace the roof next year. The guy wouldn't give me a rough estimate, but I really need to know how much to save. And I hate the thought of having to choose between a roof and a baby, assuming our only hope is IVF.
So yesterday I bought "It Starts With the Egg" and started reading it. I don't know how helpful it will be, but I'm already starting to think about changes I can make. No more canned food (not that I eat much to begin with) and I'm going to try to not touch receipts as much. I can just imagine myself putting on gloves while grocery shopping so the BPA from the receipts won't touch my skin. I'll keep reading and talking about what I'm changing in my life to hopefully make the eggs I have left more viable.
In other news. My mother's condition is worsening quickly (she doesn't have an actual medical condition, other than self-induced diabetes. When I talk about her condition, I just mean what condition she's in). She does suffer from depression, but refuses to get help for it and I'm tired of trying to talk to her about it. I've been dealing with it since I was a kid. I don't have the energy to do it anymore. She's approaching the point where she really can't take care of herself anymore, and I'm having less and less sympathy all the time, primarily because she's doing it to herself. When my sister arrived yesterday, she found multiple empty cartons of ice cream scattered around the house. Full-size cartons (I'm assuming my sister meant half-gallons, but I didn't ask). My mother insisted that they've been building up for some time (as if saving garbage in your house is somehow ok, but binging on ice cream isn't), but I was just there on Thanksgiving morning, and the cartons weren't there. Additionally, there were moldy plates and half-eaten packages of food, mostly moldy, scattered around. It was frustrating to me that while all of my friends and coworkers have parents who help them out, I have a parent who needs constant help. And I haven't even had kids yet.
This brings up something else, having to do with having kids. My sister goes to a lot of trouble to make sure her kids have a relationship with their grandmother. I work full time, as does my husband, so I know my kids won't have that same opportunity, but I do question whether the relationship is worth it. My mother is fairly sexist, for one thing. She also tries to spoil her grandchildren, which wouldn't be a big deal if she lived farther away and didn't see them very often, but on a weekly basis seems like too much.
Additionally, my mother has favorite grandchildren (or rather, one favorite) and she doesn't really try to hide it. Growing up, my mother always called my brother by name, but for my sister and I, she just addressed us as "girls". I always assumed it was a twin thing, and if we weren't identical twins, we would have been worthy of names. Unfortunately, now that my brother has two boys and a girl (in terms of age, the girl is the middle child), I've realized it's definitely a favoritism thing.. She only calls the oldest (her obvious favorite) by name. She calls her granddaughter "the little girl" or just "the girl", and the younger boy is called "the little one". I can't help but think any future kids might pick up on this, and since she lives nearby, they'd be subjected to it frequently. Obviously, this isn't an issue yet, but it worries me for the future.
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