My mother is a difficult person. I know I've said that before. She turns 75 next week, and I'm sure she's expecting a huge party, but I just don't have it in me. She called my sister last night (we'll call her S for clarity, and my mother will be M), and started out by telling S how awful all of M's children are (myself included), then informed S that M needed surgery for cataracts and that S would have to spend a day carting M around for it. Obviously, my sister was less than thrilled (who starts a plea for help by telling the person you're asking how horrible they are?). I told my sister that I would take a day off of work to go with her, but I'm not taking care of my mother by myself. I'm in no condition to deal with my mother's crap right now.
Speaking of which, I obviously haven't told my mother about my infertility. At all. She doesn't know that I've had multiple surgeries for fibroids, that we've been trying to have a family for 20 months (21 months?), that we're having lots of problems. She was, however, concerned that if I don't have children, she might lose the competition with her friends over who had the most grandchildren. Luckily, my sister's pregnancy has relieved the pressure on me over that. Considering her less than enthusiastic response when my husband and I told her that we were getting married, and her recently telling me that she liked me better when I was single, I doubt she'll be too excited for us if we do manage to get pregnant. I would love to have a supportive mother who could support me through this, but I unfortunately did not win the mother lottery.
I was recently thinking about the costs of infertility, probably brought about by friends complaining about the costs of children. I wonder if they would complain so much if they had to actually pay to get pregnant. So far, my husband and I have paid just under $4,000 and we owe another $1,000-$3,000 for my last surgery, once the bill is finished being processed. This includes lots of diagnostics, doctor's appointment, two fibroid surgeries, and one injectible IUI cycle, but no ovulation testing kits, pregnancy tests, vitamins, and the like. In the grand scheme of things, it's not actually that much money, but who knows how much more we'll have to spend?
So as I embark on my TWW, I know that it will be a while before any symptoms will show. But last night, man did I have sore boobs. I guess it could be from the trigger shot, right? It's also insanely hot here, yesterday on the drive home our car said it was 111 outside, and at 9:30 last night it was around 84. I was sweltering. Today is supposed to be the last day over 100, I think. I really hope.
I completely forgot that my husband is leaving next Wednesday for a children's camp at which he will be a counselor (I guess?) for children's hospital patients. It's not that far away, but they're in need of male chaperones who can stay for the whole camp, and he gets paid for it, so he's doing it. He'll be gone through Sunday, and chances are if this IUI didn't work, I will be getting my period sometime while he's gone. I don't look forward to dealing with that by myself.
And on top of everything else, our dog had another seizure last night, the third one in the month of June. We need to figure out a better plan to take care of her, as what we're doing right now is obviously not working, and it's really hard on us as well. Hopefully we can get it figured out soon.
And the wait continues!
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