My husband's cat got into a fight on Friday, and we didn't notice until late Friday night. His ear and the area behind it were torn up. He was missing a ton of fur, and there was a lot of blood involved. So he had an emergency trip to the vet Saturday morning, he's been on medication, and he needs to stay inside for two weeks. He was pretty doped up from all the medication, so he didn't really notice until last night that he's confined to the house. Combined with the extreme heat (100 degrees outside, 90 degrees inside until we turned on the AC), the situation caused him to spend the night wandering the house, yowling. Needless to say, I didn't sleep well, which really sucks since I have an interview this afternoon. I won't mind too much if I don't get the job, since it's not THAT much better than the job I have right now, but a little pay bump would be nice. And it comes with a corner cube with a great view.
I bought new pants for the interview, and for work in general. It's gotten to the point where I can't fit into my pants anymore. I try to eat healthfully, but with a full-time job, a commute, a new house, a husband that doesn't always like to pitch in, and 5 pets, I'm overwhelmed. On top of that, I have no time for exercising (I used to exercise every day). In addition to the weight gain, my joints are starting to feel old and creaky, and my muscles have atrophied. I'm getting tired of people telling me I look fine, though. I obviously don't. What's happening to me right now is NOT healthy. I'm hoping once our house is a bit more settled (and we're getting closer all the time!), I'll have time to exercise more.
My husband and I have decided to DTD (do the deed, one of the few baby-making euphemisms that doesn't bother me) every other day until I'm pretty sure I've ovulated. We've decided not to do ovulation testing anymore, since it just makes me cranky. I have injection training next Monday. I'm not looking forward to it. I'm terrified of needles. I've gotten used to having blood drawn and getting shots, but I can't watch it being done, and I'm grateful that it's not too frequent of an occurrence. But the thought of having to give myself shots, which I imagine would require me actually looking, and doing them every day if not multiple times a day is horrifying to me.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we can get pregnant naturally this month.
Monday, June 8, 2015
Friday, June 5, 2015
Spotting?
So today is the day my cycle should have started. I guess. I've had some very low-grade cramping all week, and this morning I went to the bathroom and there was pink spotting. Not only do I not know what is going on, I don't have any idea what to do. Go to the doctor? Email a doctor (I don't know who - my regular OBGYN? One of the fertility clinic doctors?). Or is it just the last vestiges of my period working their way out and I shouldn't worry at all?
For the record, I have gone twice this morning, both times including BMs (sorry, TMI?) and I'm feeling much less like I'm having my period, and the spotting stopped the second time. Back when my periods were more normal, I often had a final "push" on day 5 or 6, sometimes to the point of bleeding through ALL of my protection and clothes, and then my period would abruptly stop. So I'm thinking that's what's happening. I grew up in a household where my mom was a serious hypochondriac who projected it onto her children, and took us to the doctor whenever we mentioned any possible ailment, certain that we had cancer. Now that I'm an adult, I really have no good concept of what warrants being seen by a doctor.
In other news. My husband and I bought a Karlstad couch. It's HUGE and we love it. we bought the 3+2 and added on a chaise, which I thought meant converting one of the sections into a chaise. I didn't realize it involved adding on another whole piece, but luckily it fits perfectly in our family room and now we can fit both of our extended families quite comfortably on one piece of furniture.
We tried out our dog run for the first time last night when we went to dinner, and the dogs seem to really like it. I'm so relieved. Our dogs can be incredibly destructive, so we can't really leave them alone unless they're in crates, and since I don't like leaving them in their crates a lot, we tend to just not go anywhere. Now they have a nice big dog run outside, and have space to play and relax, and they can be together. It's so much better, and as soon as we get a dog house for them, I'll feel a lot better about going out to dinner or running errands and doing fun stuff on the weekends.
For the record, I have gone twice this morning, both times including BMs (sorry, TMI?) and I'm feeling much less like I'm having my period, and the spotting stopped the second time. Back when my periods were more normal, I often had a final "push" on day 5 or 6, sometimes to the point of bleeding through ALL of my protection and clothes, and then my period would abruptly stop. So I'm thinking that's what's happening. I grew up in a household where my mom was a serious hypochondriac who projected it onto her children, and took us to the doctor whenever we mentioned any possible ailment, certain that we had cancer. Now that I'm an adult, I really have no good concept of what warrants being seen by a doctor.
In other news. My husband and I bought a Karlstad couch. It's HUGE and we love it. we bought the 3+2 and added on a chaise, which I thought meant converting one of the sections into a chaise. I didn't realize it involved adding on another whole piece, but luckily it fits perfectly in our family room and now we can fit both of our extended families quite comfortably on one piece of furniture.
We tried out our dog run for the first time last night when we went to dinner, and the dogs seem to really like it. I'm so relieved. Our dogs can be incredibly destructive, so we can't really leave them alone unless they're in crates, and since I don't like leaving them in their crates a lot, we tend to just not go anywhere. Now they have a nice big dog run outside, and have space to play and relax, and they can be together. It's so much better, and as soon as we get a dog house for them, I'll feel a lot better about going out to dinner or running errands and doing fun stuff on the weekends.
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Another month
I randomly started my period on Saturday morning, 6 days early. I have so little bleeding now that the only way I can tell I'm starting is the debilitating cramps. They are so bad I can't even stand up straight, and getting out of bed is miserable. I actually did have quite a bit of blood on Saturday, then a little Sunday, and that was it. It was over by Sunday night. I don't get it.
Since I started 6 days early, I had to call Monday morning and try to reschedule my HSG for this week instead of next week. I was informed that there was already a long waiting list and I'd be better off waiting for next month. She then asked when my next period should start. I practically started crying, and said I didn't know - with my period varying between 22 and 28 days, how would I know? And I seriously have to wait ANOTHER month just because of bureaucracy? So then she said we could start a medicated cycle immediately without doing an HSG, but if there were problems we didn't know about, we'd be wasting time and money. My husband and I immediately decided to start right away. We've waited so long, and we don't want to wait any more.
The nurse said I'd have to come in that day for an ultrasound, so I raced in to take the appointment they had available. I was informed I'd have to go to an injection training class that afternoon (and here I thought I'd be taking pills, but I guess not), and they proceeded to do the ultrasound. 5-6 follicles in my right ovary! Not bad considering my other factors, really. At first they couldn't see the left ovary, but then they found the cyst that was apparently obscuring it. It was 19mm, and they immediately stopped the ultrasound and told me this cycle was not an option. I was pretty upset. My husband was REALLY upset. So once again, we're waiting. And maybe trying naturally. I guess. He doesn't seem to understand that since my last ovulation positive was on the 18th day of the month (not my cycle - the month), it won't necessarily be on June 18th. I'm pretty sure he understands that my cycles are 27-28 days (normally), but I think he tends to think of them as "monthly" unless I specifically tell him otherwise.
In other news! I built a nice big garden bed for myself and planted some fabulous veggies (heirloom tomatoes, bell peppers, cucumber, basil, and a few hot peppers for the husband). We replaced the non-functioning toilet in our master bath and the horrible shower head, and it is so nice to have a working master bathroom again! I started drawing up plans for a complete master bathroom and closet remodel, which is starting to bleed into a master bedroom redo as well. Which we can't afford, seeing as how we just bought: a new IKEA couch, new motorcycle helmets, a Dyson vacuum, a racing bicycle, a car, a new radiator for our old car, a fridge, a HOUSE, and some other stuff I can't remember right now... Yeah. We've been spending money likes it's going out of style. And yes, we got amazing deals on most of that stuff, but sheesh. Time to batten down the hatches and save for infertility treatments.
Since I started 6 days early, I had to call Monday morning and try to reschedule my HSG for this week instead of next week. I was informed that there was already a long waiting list and I'd be better off waiting for next month. She then asked when my next period should start. I practically started crying, and said I didn't know - with my period varying between 22 and 28 days, how would I know? And I seriously have to wait ANOTHER month just because of bureaucracy? So then she said we could start a medicated cycle immediately without doing an HSG, but if there were problems we didn't know about, we'd be wasting time and money. My husband and I immediately decided to start right away. We've waited so long, and we don't want to wait any more.
The nurse said I'd have to come in that day for an ultrasound, so I raced in to take the appointment they had available. I was informed I'd have to go to an injection training class that afternoon (and here I thought I'd be taking pills, but I guess not), and they proceeded to do the ultrasound. 5-6 follicles in my right ovary! Not bad considering my other factors, really. At first they couldn't see the left ovary, but then they found the cyst that was apparently obscuring it. It was 19mm, and they immediately stopped the ultrasound and told me this cycle was not an option. I was pretty upset. My husband was REALLY upset. So once again, we're waiting. And maybe trying naturally. I guess. He doesn't seem to understand that since my last ovulation positive was on the 18th day of the month (not my cycle - the month), it won't necessarily be on June 18th. I'm pretty sure he understands that my cycles are 27-28 days (normally), but I think he tends to think of them as "monthly" unless I specifically tell him otherwise.
In other news! I built a nice big garden bed for myself and planted some fabulous veggies (heirloom tomatoes, bell peppers, cucumber, basil, and a few hot peppers for the husband). We replaced the non-functioning toilet in our master bath and the horrible shower head, and it is so nice to have a working master bathroom again! I started drawing up plans for a complete master bathroom and closet remodel, which is starting to bleed into a master bedroom redo as well. Which we can't afford, seeing as how we just bought: a new IKEA couch, new motorcycle helmets, a Dyson vacuum, a racing bicycle, a car, a new radiator for our old car, a fridge, a HOUSE, and some other stuff I can't remember right now... Yeah. We've been spending money likes it's going out of style. And yes, we got amazing deals on most of that stuff, but sheesh. Time to batten down the hatches and save for infertility treatments.
Friday, May 29, 2015
I've been having some mild cramping this morning. Actually, it's so mild, I wouldn't even call it cramping. I also had what I think was a bit of spotting, but it was so faint it could have just been my imagination. Today is day 21 of this cycle. I guess. Does this mean my period is going to start? Or maybe this is the beginning of 4-5 days of spotting before my cycle starts. Or, I suppose it could be implantation, but I seriously doubt that. It feels more like PMS.
I have to admit that I think my chances of getting pregnant without donor eggs or embryos are pretty low. To be honest, if someone asked me if I thought I would ever get pregnant with my own eggs, I would have to say no. I really, really don't think it will happen without help. I'm not sure it will happen WITH help. Sometimes I feel like I'm being pessimistic, but as we approach the end of the 18th month of trying, I'm starting to think that I'm just being realistic.
I've stopped ovulation testing. I'm pretty much out of test strips and I don't want to buy more. It seems somewhat pointless - regardless of when or whether I ovulate, I'm not going to get pregnant the old-fashioned way. And testing was driving me crazy, what with having to remember to stop drinking, hold my pee all afternoon, and all that.
My husband is talking about taking bereavement leave next week. I don't know if he's thinking about flying back to England for the funeral or just taking the time off and being at home. He's not in a good frame of mind for working right now, though. He doesn't seem upset, just sad. And angry with his family for not getting along better.
I have to admit that I think my chances of getting pregnant without donor eggs or embryos are pretty low. To be honest, if someone asked me if I thought I would ever get pregnant with my own eggs, I would have to say no. I really, really don't think it will happen without help. I'm not sure it will happen WITH help. Sometimes I feel like I'm being pessimistic, but as we approach the end of the 18th month of trying, I'm starting to think that I'm just being realistic.
I've stopped ovulation testing. I'm pretty much out of test strips and I don't want to buy more. It seems somewhat pointless - regardless of when or whether I ovulate, I'm not going to get pregnant the old-fashioned way. And testing was driving me crazy, what with having to remember to stop drinking, hold my pee all afternoon, and all that.
My husband is talking about taking bereavement leave next week. I don't know if he's thinking about flying back to England for the funeral or just taking the time off and being at home. He's not in a good frame of mind for working right now, though. He doesn't seem upset, just sad. And angry with his family for not getting along better.
Thursday, May 28, 2015
A beautiful weekend, then sadness
I found out this morning that my husband's beloved grandmother had passed away. Unfortunately, I had to be the one to tell him, because I found out from a social media post from his father, who hadn't gotten around to informing his own son. I hate being the bearer of bad news. I've never had a grandparent of my own who I really loved (three died before I was born, the fourth was loved but could also be mean and made my family's life really, really difficult), so I have a hard time understanding the loss of a grandparent. I feel so bad for my husband today.
But we did have a beautiful weekend this past weekend. We drove from our home in California up to Washington state, pausing to camp near Mt. Shasta in the rain. We visited my brother east of Seattle, then took a ferry to the San Juan Islands to visit my husband's father (the son of the grandmother who just passed). It was incredibly beautiful. We didn't manage to see any whales, but we did see a bald eagle, which was cool. The island that his father lives on was pretty great. The towns of Friday Harbor and Roche Harbor were ridiculously cute, the food was fantastic (I LOVE seafood), and I needed the time away. Unfortunately, we had to get up at 5 almost every day due to logistical issues with transportation, but it was still so nice to get away, and the pacific northwest is a place that I love (and would love to live, if I could talk my husband into it).
I took yesterday off from work to stay home and put in garden beds. I only got one built, but it was huge! 4 feet wide, 8 feet long, made of 2x12 redwood lumber. The 8-foot-long pieces were super heavy and really awkward to carry by myself. Now I just need to get my husband to help me fill it with soil and we'll be able to grow tomatoes! I'm planning to build another garden bed, but it may not be ready in time for the summer growing season. As long as I have tomatoes, though, I'm happy.
On the fertility front, nothing is happening. As usual. My period should start next week, at which point I need to call to confirm my HSG for the following week. I'm hoping that my period actually starts normally, instead of having days and days of spotting with maybe a day or two of regular bleeding. I guess we'll see.
But we did have a beautiful weekend this past weekend. We drove from our home in California up to Washington state, pausing to camp near Mt. Shasta in the rain. We visited my brother east of Seattle, then took a ferry to the San Juan Islands to visit my husband's father (the son of the grandmother who just passed). It was incredibly beautiful. We didn't manage to see any whales, but we did see a bald eagle, which was cool. The island that his father lives on was pretty great. The towns of Friday Harbor and Roche Harbor were ridiculously cute, the food was fantastic (I LOVE seafood), and I needed the time away. Unfortunately, we had to get up at 5 almost every day due to logistical issues with transportation, but it was still so nice to get away, and the pacific northwest is a place that I love (and would love to live, if I could talk my husband into it).
I took yesterday off from work to stay home and put in garden beds. I only got one built, but it was huge! 4 feet wide, 8 feet long, made of 2x12 redwood lumber. The 8-foot-long pieces were super heavy and really awkward to carry by myself. Now I just need to get my husband to help me fill it with soil and we'll be able to grow tomatoes! I'm planning to build another garden bed, but it may not be ready in time for the summer growing season. As long as I have tomatoes, though, I'm happy.
On the fertility front, nothing is happening. As usual. My period should start next week, at which point I need to call to confirm my HSG for the following week. I'm hoping that my period actually starts normally, instead of having days and days of spotting with maybe a day or two of regular bleeding. I guess we'll see.
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
I've been nominated!
Thank you to Sweeping Up The Broken Pieces for nominating me for the Real Neat Blog award! How exciting! Luckily, it doesn't involved placing widgets or anything on my blog, because I have no clue how to do that and my head might explode.
Here are my questions (with answers, of course!):
1. What is your favorite memory from high school?
Hmmm, this is a toughie. I didn't love high school, but I didn't hate it. It just kind of... was. Oh! I know! We had two teachers, Mr. Newborn (who I had for AP English) and Mr. Holmes (who I had previously had for Geometry). They were constantly pranking each other, and it was so great hearing about all the pranks. My senior year, Mr. Newborn decorated his classroom Christmas tree with bubble lights and bragged in class that his tree was prettier than Mr. Holmes' tree. Quite a few students had Mr. Holmes for AP Calculus (I was not lucky enough - I had Mr. Takagishi, who was teaching it for the first time and hadn't quite gotten the hang of it yet) and word got back to him about the tree and he went over the top, decorating his classroom with everything imaginable and making bubble lights a small, insignificant part of the decor. Of course, Mr. Newborn heard about this and wrote a long letter using quite a few big words about how the spirit of the season was lost, printed it up on a giant piece of fluorescent orange paper, and taped it to Mr Holmes' door for everyone to see.
2. Who is your favorite athlete?
I'm not really all that into sports, but I do appreciate women athletes who inspire me. Beth Rodden, Lynn Hill, Mia Hamm, Venus and Serena Williams. As a child, I really loved Nadia Comaneci.
3. When did you know your husband/wife/significant other was “the one?”
I'm not really sure, actually. When I met him, I knew he was special. When he actually talked about his feelings and didn't act all macho, I knew I wanted to keep him around.
4. How best do you relax after a stressful day?
With a glass of wine! Honestly, I kind of enjoy cleaning and organizing my house, at least when the end is in sight. When everything is where it's supposed to be and I have a glass of wine and a good show to watch or book to read, I'm happy.
5. If you could star in any TV show which show would it be?
How can I choose, there are so many! Assuming we can choose shows that have already ended, I would pick Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, any of the newer Star Treks, or Gilmore Girls.
6. If you auditioned on American Idol what song would you sing?
Honestly, I have no idea.
7. What is your favorite comfort food?
Matzo ball soup would be at the top of my list for sure. It's what I want every time I feel sick.
I'm not going to nominate anyone at the moment, mostly because I don't know who to nominate.
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Aaaarrrgghh
I'm writing this post on my phone. Huh, that's not something I ever thought I'd say. Anyway, I'm at one of my favorite coffee shops, which is pretty much the only good thing about my situation.
I was already having kind of a crappy day. I saw two pregnancy announcements on Facebook today, both for friends having their third child. There was another third child announcement earlier this week too. So I'm pretty grumpy. We leave for Washington tomorrow, and we haven't prepared at all, since my husband's usual strategy is to wait until the last minute. I hate waiting until the last minute since I inevitably forget something, usually something important. Considering I'm legally blind without corrective lenses, that's a chance i just can't take.
Anyway, due to my husband getting sick, we had a motorcycle downtown where he works and we needed to drive the car in for work today. I don't have parking, so we came up with a plan that involved him dropping me off with my bicycle and parking the car at his hospital. I would then bike to the hospital after work, load up the bike (which is not easy) and then drive home in rush hour traffic while he left earlier with the motorcycle. I wasn't thrilled. My main objective in any workday is to avoid traffic, and this plan ensured i would end up in the worst of it.
Everything was going swimmingly until i finally got on the freeway and i noticed smoke coming out of the front of the car. I managed to get off the freeway quickly and ended up in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant in a really bad part of town. The manager of the restaurant came out and took a look and pronounced my radiator cracked.
So now I'm sitting at a coffee shop in a marginally better part of town, having had the car towed to my favorite mechanic, waiting for the hubs to show up with my in - laws' truck.
The funny part of the whole story is that i bought an heirloom tomato last night, intending to make a fabulous salad tonight. I've been looking forward to that salad all day, and i had this funny feeling that something was going to prevent me from having it. I thought it would probably our dog breaking out of her crate and going on a rampage in the kitchen. Instead I've got some major car repairs to pay for.
So the moral of the story is that i really want to create an app that removes pregnancy announcements from social media feeds. Bet you didn't see that one coming.
I was already having kind of a crappy day. I saw two pregnancy announcements on Facebook today, both for friends having their third child. There was another third child announcement earlier this week too. So I'm pretty grumpy. We leave for Washington tomorrow, and we haven't prepared at all, since my husband's usual strategy is to wait until the last minute. I hate waiting until the last minute since I inevitably forget something, usually something important. Considering I'm legally blind without corrective lenses, that's a chance i just can't take.
Anyway, due to my husband getting sick, we had a motorcycle downtown where he works and we needed to drive the car in for work today. I don't have parking, so we came up with a plan that involved him dropping me off with my bicycle and parking the car at his hospital. I would then bike to the hospital after work, load up the bike (which is not easy) and then drive home in rush hour traffic while he left earlier with the motorcycle. I wasn't thrilled. My main objective in any workday is to avoid traffic, and this plan ensured i would end up in the worst of it.
Everything was going swimmingly until i finally got on the freeway and i noticed smoke coming out of the front of the car. I managed to get off the freeway quickly and ended up in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant in a really bad part of town. The manager of the restaurant came out and took a look and pronounced my radiator cracked.
So now I'm sitting at a coffee shop in a marginally better part of town, having had the car towed to my favorite mechanic, waiting for the hubs to show up with my in - laws' truck.
The funny part of the whole story is that i bought an heirloom tomato last night, intending to make a fabulous salad tonight. I've been looking forward to that salad all day, and i had this funny feeling that something was going to prevent me from having it. I thought it would probably our dog breaking out of her crate and going on a rampage in the kitchen. Instead I've got some major car repairs to pay for.
So the moral of the story is that i really want to create an app that removes pregnancy announcements from social media feeds. Bet you didn't see that one coming.
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