Waiting

In general I can be a patient person, but I really hate not knowing things.  So all of this testing is beginning to drive me crazy.  The nice thing about Kaiser is that I can see my test results pretty quickly after I have blood drawn or a urine sample taken, but I have no idea when I'm going to actually talk to someone about what all of these tests MEAN.  My best interpretation right now is that my FSH number isn't very good, but I have no idea what that entails for our chances of a successful pregnancy.  Tomorrow I go in for my HSG and who knows when I'll find out the results for that.  Or when I get to schedule an appointment to talk to a real person (preferably a doctor or nurse practitioner!).

In the meantime, my husband D has been really supportive.  I try explaining to him about what I've read, and he encourages me to be more hopeful.  He assures me that if we can't have kids, we can still do plenty of things and have full lives (his exact statement was if we can't have kids, we can get a motorcycle trailer.  Very supportive!).  I'm a little shocked by his attitude, since he's the only one who has ever brought up the subject of kids in the first place, and it was his idea to start trying before we even got engaged.  It's heartening to know that he won't be completely disappointed if we end up not being able to procreate.

In the meantime, I'm trying to be as healthy as possible.  I ride my bike to work almost every day, I'm trying to take walks on my break and take the stairs instead of the elevator (which is difficult with a messed-up ankle, but I do it when I can), and I'm eating more frutis and vegetables and a lot less junk food.  I'm also making mochas at home instead of going to coffee shops, both to be healthier and to save money.  (As an aside, where in the world do all of those calories in a frappucino come from if the drink is half ice???  My at-home mochas have about 100 calories for a grande size...) 

I knew I needed to do something about my weight when an old ankle injury started flaring up last summer, and the orthopedic surgeon said there wasn't anything he could do, but he suggested I could lose weight to help my ankle pain.  When I went in for my annual exam a month later, my NP told me she didn't want me to gain any more weight, the first time she's ever said anything negative about my health.  Guess what?  I didn't listen.  My current BMI is 23.3, down from a high of 24.7 in January, but way above my old (non-teenager) low of 21.1, which is where I'd like to be by the end of the year (it seems easier to talk in terms of BMI instead of weight, even though I know it's not always scientifically meaningful.  But I'm a pretty average-boned person, and not a weightlifter or anything, so I think it'll make sense).  Assuming I'm able to one day get pregnant, I'd like to start that pregnancy as healthy as I can be.

Here's hoping the HSG is not as painful as I'm expecting it to be.