I'm not sure if it was a mistake or not. I'm super depressed by how much I weigh, but now that I know what the number is, I'm also inspired to begin losing weight immediately. As in, yesterday I went to the gym and really worked out. I'm sore today, but in a good way. I'm hoping I can keep this up, lose at least 20 pounds, and get healthy again.
So I mentioned that my injection training is on Monday. Unfortunately, my husband is probably not going with me. Wanna know why? He tried planning a motorcycle trip with his brothers for the end of the month. They both said no, which doesn't surprise me at all, so now he's decided to go by himself. I really, really want him to do social things and pursue his passions, but I'm really irritated by this for two reasons:
1) He basically has no vacation time left, which means we can never do anything together that involves time off of work, like going on a real vacation. He keeps using his time off for things like staying home to wait for the internet guy on a weekday instead of waiting for a weekend, because he couldn't go three more days without netflix. So going to injection training with me is impossible, and it's possible he may have to take some time off WITHOUT PAY to go to this stupid motorcycle event. By himself. While I stay home and take care of the house and animals, after learning to inject myself with needles so I can carry his baby.
2) Now that we're married, we have 5 pets, we're trying to have a baby, and we have a new house that's far from everything, I never get to do anything I enjoy anymore. I never go to the gym, go rock-climbing, hiking, camping, see my friends, go out for music or drinks or ANYTHING. He keeps telling me that I can do these things, but living so far from everything means transportation is a real problem. I either have to take public transportation, which doesn't run late enough for me to do anything after work, or I'm dependent on him to drive me, since I don't have anywhere to park near my office. Trying to get him to do anything outdoors on the weekends is like pulling teeth. I was so excited when I met him because it seemed like he liked to do all of the outdoorsy things that I like, but we've gone camping twice, and hiking maybe twice in the last two years. I'm getting really disillusioned.
Honestly, I worry that having a baby will make me even more isolated. And the whole trying to have a baby thing is making me cranky ALL THE TIME. I know I'm the woman and all, but I'm also the primary breadwinner and I take care of all of the things that keep our lives running, like paying bills, and grocery shopping and budgeting and whatnot. I know that I have to do most of the work in dealing with infertility, but I'm feeling like I have no support. I think he's only been to one doctor's appointment with me. He was only there for one of my surgeries, because (surprise!) he didn't have enough time off to be there for the second one. I just feel really unsupported. Am I asking for too much?
No comments:
Post a Comment